Who's Line Is It Anyway!
by InactiveAnon
Summary: Chapters of random fun, filled with ugly orange hats, custon made wigs of Yami's hair and surprise guests of DOOM! Read at your sanity's own risk.
1. Chapter 1

**Who's Line is it Anyway?**

Chapter 1: This Wig is Rigged.

Yami: Hello! Welcome to… Oh, Crap I know this!

Ryou: "Who's Line is it anyway?"

Yami: Oh, yeah! That's what it was! Hehe We really need to get one of those weird script-computer-reading things…Those are the best. I don't even have to memorize anything! I can just read!

Seto: Ugh, this day will last forever. Okay, let me clear some things up for all you people. This is the show with no scripts, no points, and absolutely no respect for the smarter part of humanity. Kinda like the puppet shows Yami has during commercial breaks.

Yami: -Doesn't realize that was an insult- Next time the Potato Man gets lost in the store!

Ryou: Ummm…Wasn't that an insult?

Malik: Be quiet, I like were this is going.

Seto: Well, let's get this over with.

Yami: Right! Welcome to "Who's Line is it Anyway?" Today we have… Ryou Bakura! -Audience claps-

Ryou: -Smiles and waves-

Yami: Seto Kiaba! -Audience cheers-

Seto: Tries to hide smile by folding his arms-

Yami: He's kind shy; but he'll be okay once we start insulting me. Malik Ishtar! -Audience claps-

Malik: -Waves- Hello, my loyal fans! Mwahahahahahhaaaa!

Yami: Okay…Joey Wheeler! -Audience claps-

Joey: -Smiles and mouths "Call me!" while making signal.

Yami: Yeah! And our special guest for today…Anzu Mazaki!

Anzu: -Walks onto stage, waves, smiles, and bows-

Yami: And of course yours truly. All right, our first game will be…I--- Really don't know what it's called. But I'll pick a topic out of this custom-made wig of my hair and they'll try and act it out. If I suddenly become smart enough to say something I will but…I'll probably just sit here and be a host. Seto! Will **You** come and pick a topic!

Seto: -Scoffs and goes to pick a topic. He picks one and he gets a weird look on his face…O.o Yeah! That's the one!- "The funniest names for a Limo driver."

Yami: -Smile and thinks: 'I'm so happy I rigged that thing'-

Seto: -Shrugs and imitates a gay man's voice- Okay, Georgio, like let's go to the…ummm…Barber then we'll go to the mall. Our clothes are about to be SO five minutes ago.

**-Buzzer-**

Ryou: Let's go Batman!

**-Buzzer**-

Joey: All right, Crackhead…To the pizza store!

**-Buzzer**-

Malik: Dracula where'd we get this juice again?

**-Buzzer**-

Anzu: Your **sure** your name is Lindsey Lohan?

-**Buzzer**-

Yami: -Laughs- Okay! Ryou, you choose a topic.

Ryou: -Chooses a topic from the wig. Looks surprised- "Things you might say after being in a coma for…Erm, how long were you in a coma for?" **I** was in a coma for six weeks.

Yami: Haha. -Shifty eyes-

Ryou: Oh…You're my girlfriend aren't you? -Under his breath- I should've stayed in a coma.

**-Buzzer**-

Joey: O-M-G! Look magical flying devise! It looks lot like the planes we had back in my time…Six weeks ago…

**-Buzzer**-

Malik: You can't tell me black isn't still a cool colour!

**-Buzzer**-

Anzu: So do you still have peaches here?

**-Buzzer**-

Seto: What! You never found my legs! Why don't you just rip my head off! -Runs away crying-

**-Buzzer**-

Yami: Okay Jo, your turn!

Joey: -Picks a topic from the custom-made-wig-of-Yami's-Hair- "Reasons people might call you a dog."

-Looks at crowd…Unlike the others he still hasn't figured out the wig is rigged.-Call me a dog will you! I'll lick your face off!

**-Buzzer**-

Joey: What'd I say?

Malik: What was that? I was too busy looking for my bowl…It has my name on it!

**-Buzzer**-

Anzu: -Starts barking- Hold on a second while I go chase that cat!

**-Buzzer**-

Seto: -In a girl-like voice while skipping circles on the stage- Oh! Look at me! I've got a dog's name! I can barley speak English! I'll do anything you tell me to!

**-Buzzer**-

Joey: I do not have a dog's name…It's a gerbil's.

Ryou: What I can't go to the party! -Whines like a dog and does puppy eyes-

Crowd: Awwwwwww.

**-Buzzer**-

Yami: -Grins evilly- Malik would you pick our next topic?

Malik: I hope you know that all of us… Except for Joey of course…

Joey: -Looks around- Someone call me? -Starts panting like a dog-

Malik: -Shakes head in disapproval- Well, anyway, We all ready know this thing is rigged.

Crowd: -Gasps- No Way!

Malik: -Eye twitches- Yes, rigged! It's all a set up!

Yami: Okay, Malik, just finish the show.

Malik: -chooses** last** topic and gets a sick look on his face- "Things you would make Malik do if he were brainwashed."

Yami: **I'll** take your turn this time, thanks.

-Gets down on one knee- Marikku, will you marry me?

500,000 Miles away in the Shadow Realm

Marikku: -is living in a Black Palace and watching TV while sitting in a throne- Huh! -Becomes mad that he was used in a joke-

Grim Reaper, Get my cloak!

Grim Reaper: -Hands Marikku his purple cape-thing-

-Screaming is heard in the background-

Marikku: And tell Lucifer to shut up! I won the Shadow Realm fare and square…ish!

Now back to the show

Malik: -Is very mad. Walks off the stage.-

Malik Fans: -Boo…A lot.-

Anzu: Hey, Anzu? Would you like to go out with me?

**-Buzzer**-

Seto: Oh yeah, You wish!

Anzu: -Blushes and is glad Malik was no longer on the set to see it.-

Seto: -Looks down at his stomach- I think I may be anorexic…

**-Buzzer**-

Ryou: This is such a gay colour…Maybe I should get a sex change?

**-Buzzer**-

Joey: -Stretches- Ah, there's nothing better than going out in public with no clothes on.

**-Buzzer**-

BloodEngel: Okay, Okay. It's time for a commercial break. I have to discus the "How it's illegal on this channel to rig things. At least for you." rules.

Ryou: What channel are we on?

BloodEnGel: Fox…

All: Eww!

If you watch some Fox shows you'll know they're always making fun of themselves so…I just threw that in.

And as BloodEnGel explained the "How it's illegal on this channel to rig things. At least for you." rules Marikku was on a plane from Egypt to Japan. (He stopped in Egypt to get his clothes and stuff.)

Stewardess: Would you like some wine, sir?

Marikku: -Insanely while laughing- Yes! Mwahahahhaha!

Stewardess: -Unaffected by the psychopathic Yami- Okay and would you like some steak as well?

Marikku: -Suddenly sane and very serious- No thank you, I'm a vegetarian.

Stewardess: -Nods and walks away-

Marikku: Oh I'm so happy I chose to fly first class! All my favorite celebrities are here! Oh look, It's Stewie from FamilyGuy…And Jack The Ripper! -Waves- Hi Jack!

Jack The Ripper: -Smiles sadistically and waves back.-

Marikku: That's a good man right there. Oh, look! It's Bernie Mac!

Bernie Mac: -Is harassing a very stupid looking pilot who just got back from the bathroom-

Marikku: That's it man! Black power! -Throws his fist up-

Stewardess: -Comes back and whispers something in Marikku's ear-

Marikku: -Responds to the Stewardess's question- Yes, I would like fries with that.

And now back to "Who's Line is it Anyway?"

Yami: -Flatly- Hello, I'm back. And now I have a co-host to keep me in line.

Yugi: Hello, Everyone! -Smiles cutely -

Audience: Awwww.

Yugi: -In an evil voice-Yes that's it! Trust me! Be lost in my impossibly large eyes! Fall under my evil happy-pink-bunnies-spell! Mwahhahahahhaaa! It'll make it that much better when I destroy you all!

Audience: Huh?

Yugi: -Back to normal -Nothing.

Yami: -Eyes wide- Oh my Ra! Did you see him! He just…!

Yugi: -Punches Yami and he falls unconscious- Oh, Look! Yami Fell asleep! -Kicks Yami off stage-

Audience: Awwww!

Yugi: Soo…Now we'll be… Doing something…I dun no. This is pretty much where this chapter ends. Bye now!

Audience: -Claps-


	2. Chapter 2

**Who's Line is it Anyway?**

Chapter 2: A Story Not Intended for Sane Audiences

Yami: Hello, people of the computer! Welcome back to "Who's Line is it Anyway?" Today we're going to be…

Random Audience Member: Where's Yugi?

Other People: Yeah?

Yami: -Evil eyes - Yugi can't come to the phone right now. He's a little **tied up**.

In a random McDoneld's 100 miles away

Yugi: -Is tied up and gagged in a bathroom - Ahhhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhhh! (Please note he is gagged)

McD's Worker and also Stewardess on Marikku's airplane: Would you like fries with that?

Yugi: -Stops screaming, thinks and nods head.-

These interruptions are getting very annoying.

Yami: Today we will be making insane little stories. We'll be taking Main Topics from this non-rigged ugly orange hat and then as the story progresses we'll take out little slips of paper with sayings on them.

Seto: Your descriptions… For lack of a better word; Suck. AND you forgot to introduce today's guest…Mai Valentine!

Mai: -Walks onto stage-

Ryou: Have you noticed all the guests so far have been girls?

Malik: Yeah, I wanna try to get one of the ladies who played Dracula's Brides in Van Helsing on here. I think it'd be fun.

Ryou: -Backs away slowly-

Malik: I get that a lot for some reason…

Mai: -Is very bored-

Joey: -Is drooling while staring at Mai-

Seto: --" Let's just get started.

Yami: There are three main characters in this game…But if any of you others find a way to work yourselves in…Please do. We will be paired into our groups by Kiaba's vending machine!

Everyone; Especially Seto: Huh!

Yami: It's simple. I just bash the crap out of it with this baseball bat, a candy representing one of us will fall, and so on until we're all in groups! Now; I'm the Milky Way, Malik you're the Snickers. Seto you're the doublemint gum. Ryou will be Twix, Joey will be the Hostess Ding-Dong because he is one. And Mai, our special guest, will be the Peanut Butter Cup!

Seto: Why! What did the vending machine ever do to you! Why does it deserve this! -Sobs-

BloodEngel: It's okay, It's all for the sake of reality TV. It's for a good cause.

Yami: -Begins bashing the candies out of the vending machine-

Wow! I have the first group!

Seto: -Cries- It was so beautiful…

Vending Machine: How could you do this to me Seto! How! -A tear falls from the vending machine-

Seto: -Cries more while having flashbacks of him and the Vending Machine to the "So Happy Together" song- WHY!

Yami: So the groups are…

Malik, Mai, and Seto

then Me, Joey, and Ryou. Let the games begin! Yay!

Yami: Both me and Malik will pick the topic from the definitely not rigged ugly orange hat, as we are the team leaders then each of our team members will take a handful of sayings and read them when we have the chance. Like MadLibs…Wait, did I already say that? Well whatever.

-Chooses topic from ugly orange hat that is **not **rigged! How many times must I say it!-

"An Unknown Scene from Titanic."

Ryou: -As Rose- Oh no, the ship is sinking!

Joey: -As that guy Leonardo De Caprio played- Oh crap! The ship is sinking!

Yami: -As Rose's fiancee- She just said that you moron!

Joey: Oh. -Takes a paper and reads it. To Ryou/Rose- "Wanna make out?"

Ryou: -Sighs- And this was supposed to be a romance film?

Yami: -Reads paper- "I knew I should've gotten a salad."

**-Buzzer**-

Malik: -Chooses a topic.- "Conversation at a Weird Hair-Cutting Place."

Honda: -In audience- Wow! That one was mine.

Isis: -Thinks; 'It's for the children, It's for the children.'-

Shizuka: -Also in the audience and suddenly mind reader.- What's for the children?

Isis: Oh, I came here to warn the children that Marikku was coming. Well, actually I just came here to talk to the Fox editor about how they better bump up the rating for this show now that Marikku is going to make a surprise appearance. It **could **get violent.

Shizuka: -Gulps- M-Marikku is _here_?

Isis: Yeah, he's just in the bathroom.

Marikku: -Back from the bathroom. In a perfectly normal voice.- Hi Shizuka.

Shizuka: -Runs away screaming…er shrieking-

Marikku: What's wrong with her?

Isis: -Shrugs-

-Now back to what's happening on the stage.-

Malik: -Is 'pretending' to cut Mai's hair- So what's up this week?

Mai: -Sobbing- My Aunt got run over by a car.

Seto: -As a girl- Oh! No! -Reads paper- "The food I ate was very spicy!"

Mai: -Still sobbing while nodding- Y-Yes…-Gulps to hold back fake tears- I remember the last thing she said to me before she died…-Reads paper- "Luke, I am your father."

Malik: I remember the last thing my Aunt said to me before she died; -Reads paper- "For heavens sake cut your hair."

**-Buzzer**-

Yami: Hehe, that was great. Well, our next game will be…

BloodEngel: Wait! Today we have a very special guest. It's probably not who you're thinking though.

Ryou: Oh! We're not going to get to see Santa Clause?

Bakura: -Comes onto stage- Santa Clause!

Audience: -Gasp-

Bakura: What're you gasping at?

Honda: We're just doing what the sign told us to.

Bakura: -Looks around- What sign?

Audience: -Point to the ceiling, and say in union- The Sign.

Bakura: -Looks up and sees a giant sign with eyes. It now read, "Audience worships sign."-

Audience: -Is worshipping sign-

Bakura: -Shakes head and throws a knife at the sign.-

The Sign: -blows up and is dead-

Honda: Yay! We're free!

Yami: -In his pharaoh costume- Not quite. You're still my slave from 5,000 years ago.

Honda: Ohh.

BloodEngel: Sorry Bakura but you weren't the guest.

Bakura: What?

BloodEngel: Yeah you just showed up. Our real guest is Marikku!

Marikku: -Walks onto stage.-

Yami: Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh! The Return!

Honda: He's so pathetic…And yet I still fear him. 00

Bakura: What the! How'd I get here then?

Matt Groening: I called you here!

Bakura: Huh?

Matt Groening: Would you like to guest star on the Simpsons?

Bakura: -Flatly- No.

Matt Groening: What! I've been rejected! -Shrivels up into dirt-

Fox Animator1: I think he's dead.

Fox Animator2: I was just thinking that!

BloodEngel: O…Kay. Commercial break while I sort this out!

Yami: Puppet show time! -Gets out puppets-

Joey: That's just sad.

Think about commercials you've seen on the TV lately for…say five minutes

Did you? HaHa, you sucker!

The commercial break is now over.

Yami: And Potato Man was saved from the Evil Monsters of the Store! The End!

Audience: -Is silent-

Yami: Well, why aren't you clapping?

Audience…Except for Isis: We're all mindless drones! Without the sign we don't know what to do!

Ryou: We really have to get that sign fixed.

BloodEngel: We can't. Fox doesn't have enough money. The only thing keeping them alive right now is the pity money they get from local churches.

Bakura: Why did we settle for this channel?

BloodEndel: Because Oprah told me to…Do you know what happens to people who don't follow Oprah's advice?

Bakura: -Shakes head-

BloodEnGel: They become one of her slaves!

Audience: -Gasps-

Ryou: Hey! The sign is fixed!

RandomBakuraFanGirl: Yes, and it will stay that way…As long as you hand over Bakura!

Audience: -Gasps-

BloodEngel: Would you like anything else? Like some chips or salsa?

RandomBakuraFanGirl: Don't mind if I do.

Stewardess on Marikku's airplane and also part-time McDonallds Worker: Would you like fries with that?

RandomBakuraFanGirl: Yes, please.

Marikku: Hey Karey!

Karey/ Stewardess on Marikku's airplane and also part-time McDonallds Worker: Hi Marikku!

Yami: Wait, if you're here then does that mean…

Yugi: -Devilish glare- Yami!

Yami: Oh crap!

Yugi: -Strangles Yami-

Security Guard: -Arrests Yugi and takes him away-

Yugi: I'll be back! Maybe not today, Maybe not Tomorrow…Maybe not next year even. But I will be back!

RandomBakuraFanGirl: -Leaves with a screaming Bakura-

BloodEngel: -Waves- Come back and visit!

Bakura: TRAITOR!

BloodEngel: : D That's what you get for stealing MY ice cream!

Yugi: -Randomly shows up- Hello! I'm Back! After a lot of therapy and torture from the other people in prison, and also an anger management class I'm finally ready to return to society.

BloodEngel: GREAT! Every time I get rid of one person another shows up!

Joey: Have you seen my sister anywhere?

BloodEngel: -Backs away- About that… I kinda, might've…Made her run over a cliff…

Joey: What!

Seto: She had to get rid of someone! Do you know how stressful it is to have to provide everyone with equal speaking rights! It's hard!

BloodEngel: It's so hard in fact next chapter is going to be the last one.

Audience: -Gasps- Why!

BloodEnGel: We had fun…But I have more important Fics to work on!

Joey: -sarcastically- Oh, I see.

BloodEnGel: GREAT! I knew you'd understand!

Audience: -Is crying-

Yugi: Okay! This is the end of the chapter! Next chapter is the last one! Wheee!


	3. Chapter 3

**Who's Line is it Anyway?**

Chapter 3: Final

Yami: Like all first grade teachers say; Every story had a beginning, a middle, and an end. In this case there's three chapters that represent a beginning, middle and end. So yeah, here's the end.

Marikku: Oh, but it's not the end! It's the finale!

Malik: Wow, that's awesome… What's BloodEngel doing as the finale?

Marikku: I don't know!

BloodEngel: I don't either! Oh, crap. I'm all out of ideas. I'm in a serious stage of writer's block. It's painful.

Yugi: Ouch.

BloodEngel: Yes, "Ouch."

Yugi: Huh? I wasn't listening. I stubbed my toe and said, "Ouch."

BloodEngel: Gee, thanks. Hey! I've got an idea! I'll really do a MadLib this time! You guys can do a Broadway finale! Everyone who was in this will all sing and bow and everything! HeHhe!

Seto: Oh, please no.

BloodEngel: I like to call this song, "Random Sayings I Picked From an Ugly Orange Hat"

All these sayings were picked out of a pile of 38 of them. None of them were planned. Mostly all the people mentioned in this Fic will now participate.

-Music Starts-

Yami: "What could go wrong?"

-Bows-

Anzu: "I'm so happy!"

-Bows-

Ryou: "Bond. James Bond."

-Bows-

Seto: "What'd you say about my mother!"

-Bows-

Malik: "You're going to a mental institution."

-Bows-

Joey: "I wonder if I can get 38 sayings out of this one paper?"

-Bows-

Potato Man: "It's so beautiful.'

-Bows-

Custom-made wig of Yami's hair: "Ho-oly Ship!"

-Bows-

Karey/Stewardess/ McDonallds worker: "Don't be boring. Everyone who says that dies."

-Bows-

Jack The Ripper: "BOO!."

-Bows-

Stewie: "Life is like a box of chocolates."

-Bows-

Bernie Mac: "You Suck!"

-Bows-

Yugi: "Some of these sayings are really weird."

-Bows-

Grim Reaper: "Stay in the light!"

-Bows-

Audience: "Warning Bill Robinson! Warning!"

-All Bow-

Random Audience Member: "I love you, you love me…"

-Bows-

Seto's Vending Machine: "Please kill me…Wait did I already write that?"

-Bows-

Honda: "Is that spaghetti on your tongue?"

-Bows-

Marikku: "Ooh, Pretty colours!"

-Bows-

Serenity: "The monkey bit my finger!"

-Bows-

Isis: "I know men have feelings…but who **really** cares?"

-Bows-

Mai: "The Devil Made me do it."

-Bows-

Lucifer: "I lost count of all these a long time ago."

-Bows-

Bakura: "I want to go to the zoo!"

-Bows-

The Sign: "If I don't get what I want everyone suffers!"

-Bows-

Matt Groening: "At least things can't get any worse."

-Bows and shrivels back into dust-

Fox Animator1: "Wow, Television!"

-Bows-

Fox Animator2: "Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto!"

-Bows-

Oprah: "I notice your home smells of feces."

-Bows-

RandomBakuraFanGirl: "I told you, I'm English!"

-Bows-

Security Guard: "You're so dead!"

-Bows-

Ugly Orange Hat: "O-M-G!"

-Bows-

Evil Monsters of the Store: "Bleh!"

-All Bow-

BloodEnGel: "This will take forever."

-Bows-

**All: -Bow Together-**

Good Bye Everybody!

**The End**

_If You Can Tolerate Boredom For A Very Long Time Stay Tuned For:_

**_Probably the Longest Disclaimer you will Ever See_ **

(And also a special presentation by The Sign)


	4. Chapter 4

_**Probably the Longest Disclaimer you will Ever See**_

**I do not own…**

: ( Yu-Gi-Oh, a wig, Who's Line is it Anyway, one of those weird script-computer-reading things, respect for the smarter part of humanity(JK), The "Call Me" signal, A Limo, A limo driver, The name "Georgeo", Batman, Dracula, Lindsey Lohan, The Grim Reaper, A Black Palace, the Shadow Realm, Lucifer, Fox, Egypt, Japan, impossibly large eyes, Ra, McDonalds, Dracula's Brides, Van Helsing, A Vending Machine, Milky Way, Snickers, doublemint gum, Twix, Hostess Ding-Dong, Peanut Butter Cup, The Titanic, An ugly orange hat, a Weird Hair-Cutting Place, Matt Groening, The simpsons, The Phrase "Luke, I am your father.", Santa Clause, Oprah, MadLibs, Broadway, Stewie, Bernie Mac, Jack the Ripper, James Bond, Bill Robinson, and a Honda car!

**I do, however, own…**

: ) THIS AND ALL IDEAS EXPRESSED IN IT!

The Sign: I am back! Worship me… An my incredible singing voice! (I don't own this song! I don't even know who does, I heard it on my mom's car radio once and I couldn't resist! …Well I could but I didn't want to.)

The Sign: Ahem...

_Shock!  
I got a new life  
You would hardly recognize me  
Im so glad  
How can a person like me care for you  
Why do I bother  
When youre not the one for me  
Is enough enough  
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes  
I saw the sign  
Life is demanding without understanding  
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes  
I saw the sign  
No ones gonna drag you up  
To get into the light where you belong  
But where do you belong  
Under the pale moon  
For so many years Ive wondered  
Who you are  
How can a person like you bring me joy  
Under the pale moon  
Where I see a lot of stars  
Is enough enough  
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes  
I saw the sign  
Life is demanding without understanding  
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes  
I saw the sign  
No ones gonna drag you up  
To get into the light where you belong  
But where do you belong  
I saw the sign and it opened up my mind  
And I am happy now  
Living without you  
Ive left you all alone  
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes  
I saw the sign  
No ones gonna drag you up  
To get into the light where you belong  
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes  
I saw the sign_

BloodEngel: All right…Bye…C'mon leave! I'm sure you've got better things to do! You don't? Oh. Kay. Do you have homework? ……………………Eh, you could go read something? Okay that's it! This is annoying! LEAVE! NOW!

…………………………………

I'll set the gay Mafia on you!

….

…….

……..That's better….


End file.
